Letter For Anne

Sometimes What I Say To A Person Might Be Helpful To Others

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

You have a beautiful voice, both when you speak and when you sing. You don’t need to think about it; it simply flows naturally.

You made me think of Paola Turbay, the actress and model who was stunning (she still is) and even became a beauty queen. But at the time, people only criticized her for having a shrill voice. She decided to work on it and managed to change her tone.

You’re the opposite. You have a voice that most people find beautiful, effortlessly so. Your way of expressing yourself and modulating your sound is a delight to those around you and you don’t even realize it. I remember years ago, you let me guide you through some vocal exercises, and we discovered how easily your voice moved into a soprano range. You were ecstatic! Then came all your choral experiences—and once again, you were so happy.

This time, you reached out to me to help you prepare for a solo. You’ve always been curious about singing as a soloist, but your nerves get the better of you. We worked on some techniques to help you release your voice, to think less and express yourself more freely through it.

You shared your frustration about not being able to control what comes out of your throat. We all want that, but our bodies—our voices—resist our impositions, our attempts to force something that already works with incredible precision.

Look at this monologue. Listen to all the vocal movements and colors in their voices. It’s amazing how naturally the voice seeks a higher pitch to express surprise:

It’s a wonderful, completely automatic process. And from that sound, from that spontaneity, singing is born.

Do you know what the most important process really is? The one that happens in our mind when we take the time to get to know our voice. The shift that happens in our brain when we let go of the anxiety to make something happen our way instead of letting it be as it is.

Since we rarely think about our voice—it’s always just there—we don’t truly know it. We hardly ever stop to notice the vast range of expression and nuance our voice carries in everyday life.

Naturally, our rational mind wants to understand this process. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it comes at a cost: when we try to describe the voice, we resort to words that always fall short. Sensations are subjective; we’ll never fully know how someone else feels or perceives their own sensations.

Sometimes I discover a new way to feel my singing, but when I try to describe it, the words lose their magic and sound like any generic explanation you’d find on YouTube. That’s how we fall into generalizations and clichés like, “Support with the diaphragm,” “Place the voice forward,” or “Sing with the mix.”

That’s why, in the few sessions we’ve had, my goal is to give you exercises that serve as tools for exploring and discovering new sensations. My hope is for you to find your own words to describe what you feel and for that curiosity to motivate you to work on your voice every day.

It is a work that only you can do. Alone.

I mentioned that the most important process happens in our mind because we’re conditioned to want control:

“If you relax your tongue, lift your soft palate, modify the vowel, and support with the diaphragm, the high note will come out perfectly.”

A recipe. Do this, you’ll get that. Recipes are good to cook.

How can we control something if we’re not even aware of what’s moving inside us? Most of the muscles in the vocal apparatus are so tiny that conscious control is nearly impossible. It’s much more effective to let them react naturally. Over time, you’ll understand that “control” is so subtle it almost feels like you’re not doing anything at all.

It takes time, and most people aren’t willing to stop and observe.

When you do take the time, you eventually discover that the real obstacle is internal: that voice inside you that says things like:

“Ugh, that sound was awful.”

“What will people think of me?”

“Who am I to dare sing this solo?”

“I always get so nervous in front of people.”

That internal struggle is always there. I face it every day.

Anne, give yourself the chance to honor this desire in your heart. At the end of the day, what you’ll remember is that you stood up in front of everyone and shared a piece of yourself with us.